Save this date
2nd May 2010
This is the day Ri and I are getting Married!
Thursday, September 25, 2008
Saturday, September 6, 2008
Last 'real' lecture
We had our last real lecture on Friday.
I wonder what the tally board of 'lectures Vic has missed or skipped' looks like. Over six years I can imagine I have missed hours and hours and hours of lectures.
To be honest it could add up to weeks straight of just lectures.
I get so fatigued, sick at least once a semester or have an attitude problem (do you really think that I'm doing to a lecture call "attitude to disability" and listen to you pretend like the attitude of people has really changed).
'sif.
I wonder if my class mates went to these lectures. If they did evidence of the inability to change peoples minds about treating people with "special needs" came, ever so tragically, when our lecturer could a poll of the room and asked who would treat someone with special needs differently if they had the same problem.
No. I clicked the second I had read the question.
80% of the class said yes.
My stomach just sank. Oh how easy it must be for them to say that when they do not know what it feels like to be labelled and treated differently for the same problem.
This was the first time my heart went out to this lecturer, as from her face, I could tell she felt she had failed in getting her message across.
The logic, you are different therefor, it is only logical to treat you differently. Way to strong in peoples mind sets.
I'm worried, as these people are health professionals.
I put my hand up and gave a (hopefully) passionate little rant as to why they should have said no. I think I heard someone asked to poll again after I had finished.
I wonder what the tally board of 'lectures Vic has missed or skipped' looks like. Over six years I can imagine I have missed hours and hours and hours of lectures.
To be honest it could add up to weeks straight of just lectures.
I get so fatigued, sick at least once a semester or have an attitude problem (do you really think that I'm doing to a lecture call "attitude to disability" and listen to you pretend like the attitude of people has really changed).
'sif.
I wonder if my class mates went to these lectures. If they did evidence of the inability to change peoples minds about treating people with "special needs" came, ever so tragically, when our lecturer could a poll of the room and asked who would treat someone with special needs differently if they had the same problem.
No. I clicked the second I had read the question.
80% of the class said yes.
My stomach just sank. Oh how easy it must be for them to say that when they do not know what it feels like to be labelled and treated differently for the same problem.
This was the first time my heart went out to this lecturer, as from her face, I could tell she felt she had failed in getting her message across.
The logic, you are different therefor, it is only logical to treat you differently. Way to strong in peoples mind sets.
I'm worried, as these people are health professionals.
I put my hand up and gave a (hopefully) passionate little rant as to why they should have said no. I think I heard someone asked to poll again after I had finished.
Friday, September 5, 2008
Twenty four! Twenty FOUR.
Next week I will be turning twenty four.
This casts my mind to that episode of sex and the city when Carrie turns 35 and at the table next to her there are twenty-somethings, they plop the cake down in front of the woman seated at that table when the she drunkenly screams, "25! FUCK I'm old"
Ha, you see. The point is that she isnt really old. Carrie is.
And I'm a whole year away from THAT anyway. And 11 years from 35.
I'm still young dammit. Although, to be honest I haven't felt 23 in months, I feel like I'm a couple of years older. I don't know why. I might be the whole finishing my Masters and planning to get married thing. I never planned to be married before I was 30. I will be 25 when I become Mrs Jones. FUCK, when I put it on the screen, that sounds so young. But I cannot imagine waiting any longer than 5 years to marry this annoyingly perfect man.
A uni friend of mine has recently become engaged at 37, she is the best, and I would not believe her when she said she was 37. She makes me feel so young.
I will have to do a reflection of the last year.
I remember telling some GEMS in the labs last year that I was turning 23 and that I felt old. They all took a minute to try to remember what they were doing when they were my age.
This year I feel young. Like I'm just about to start out as a 'real' adult.
I feel like my 25th year will be a dramatic one. Being 24, leaving uni, planning a wedding, did I mention leaving uni? Not that my twenty fourth year was lacking drama...
I really should feed Ky.
Night xoxo Vic
This casts my mind to that episode of sex and the city when Carrie turns 35 and at the table next to her there are twenty-somethings, they plop the cake down in front of the woman seated at that table when the she drunkenly screams, "25! FUCK I'm old"
Ha, you see. The point is that she isnt really old. Carrie is.
And I'm a whole year away from THAT anyway. And 11 years from 35.
I'm still young dammit. Although, to be honest I haven't felt 23 in months, I feel like I'm a couple of years older. I don't know why. I might be the whole finishing my Masters and planning to get married thing. I never planned to be married before I was 30. I will be 25 when I become Mrs Jones. FUCK, when I put it on the screen, that sounds so young. But I cannot imagine waiting any longer than 5 years to marry this annoyingly perfect man.
A uni friend of mine has recently become engaged at 37, she is the best, and I would not believe her when she said she was 37. She makes me feel so young.
I will have to do a reflection of the last year.
I remember telling some GEMS in the labs last year that I was turning 23 and that I felt old. They all took a minute to try to remember what they were doing when they were my age.
This year I feel young. Like I'm just about to start out as a 'real' adult.
I feel like my 25th year will be a dramatic one. Being 24, leaving uni, planning a wedding, did I mention leaving uni? Not that my twenty fourth year was lacking drama...
I really should feed Ky.
Night xoxo Vic
Rhys's Grand-Dad
Rhys's Grand-Dad died last weekend.
We were up in Tully in July, because he had come pretty close to death then, and I was almost convinced that he and Ri's grandma would live together in a home in Tully for a few more years. The funeral was today, Ri has gone and I feel helpless, I want to be by his side, like I wanted to be at my mum's side when her sister, my aunty, died last December. But this degree, this bloody degree, sometimes it has to come first. My stomach sinks when I think about not being there at these times and I hope that in the future I do not regret my decision to stay behind.
I'd only met Ri's Grand-dad twice, Christmas 06 and July 08. He seemed like a strong man with a massive presence, even though I only knew him as a man who had suffered a stroke years before meeting him, a stroke that cost him physical mobility. He was an engineer, like Ri's dad is an Engineer, like Ri is an Engineer.
When we went to visit in July, Ri's grand-dad wasn't anywhere near as lucid as he was when I first met him in December 06. But there was a moment, when we were saying goodbye for the last time, that always brings tears to my eyes. Ri's grand-dad shook Ri's hand and in a moment of lucidity said "It was good to know you mate."
The last thing my Aunty said to me was that I was smart not to be getting married just yet. Ah in some things she was just like her damn sister.
We were up in Tully in July, because he had come pretty close to death then, and I was almost convinced that he and Ri's grandma would live together in a home in Tully for a few more years. The funeral was today, Ri has gone and I feel helpless, I want to be by his side, like I wanted to be at my mum's side when her sister, my aunty, died last December. But this degree, this bloody degree, sometimes it has to come first. My stomach sinks when I think about not being there at these times and I hope that in the future I do not regret my decision to stay behind.
I'd only met Ri's Grand-dad twice, Christmas 06 and July 08. He seemed like a strong man with a massive presence, even though I only knew him as a man who had suffered a stroke years before meeting him, a stroke that cost him physical mobility. He was an engineer, like Ri's dad is an Engineer, like Ri is an Engineer.
When we went to visit in July, Ri's grand-dad wasn't anywhere near as lucid as he was when I first met him in December 06. But there was a moment, when we were saying goodbye for the last time, that always brings tears to my eyes. Ri's grand-dad shook Ri's hand and in a moment of lucidity said "It was good to know you mate."
The last thing my Aunty said to me was that I was smart not to be getting married just yet. Ah in some things she was just like her damn sister.
My dads heart
The week after the car accident, my father had a cardio-vascular event. My daddy, went to mums emergency department with chest pain. She got mad at him for showing up at her place of work. I gently tried to point out to her that her place of work is the local hospital and to me that presents as a perfectly logical place to go.
He spent a while in hospital, then this week received a thingy to help the blood pass by the partial blockage.
He has made a promise to me that he will lose weight in time for our wedding.
He will be within the normal range. I'm on his case like white on rice.
I love my daddy, and of my family members he is being the nicest and most interested in our wedding, which came as a bit of a shock, but I'm happy at least one of them gives a damn.
He spent a while in hospital, then this week received a thingy to help the blood pass by the partial blockage.
He has made a promise to me that he will lose weight in time for our wedding.
He will be within the normal range. I'm on his case like white on rice.
I love my daddy, and of my family members he is being the nicest and most interested in our wedding, which came as a bit of a shock, but I'm happy at least one of them gives a damn.
Wednesday, August 20, 2008
Car accident
On Friday, last week, I was driving along a windy road in St Lucia when a driver pulled out of their driveway to turn right. They didn’t see me, and as a result I drove head on into the side of their car. I had two passengers in the car with me. No one was hurt. Well except maybe me. The car was seriously damaged. I didnt actually see the damage myself, but from the drivers seat I saw the peoples faces when they saw the damage and judging by the looks it got, the damage was bad.
I had just turned a corner and was not going very fast as I was just speeding up, so my foot had been on the accelerator when I saw the car. I quickly swapped my foot to the breaks and just left my foot there until impact, which was so dumb. When we crashed I swear I felt the force of the impact in my foot and ankle. I went to my doctor who pointed out bruises and pains I did not know I had. I was in shock and in a state of panic. I cried, non-stop, for hours. For the first time in my life I had high blood pressure.
I’m still feeling on edge and even though I have a lot of support, I feel really alone and behind with my uni work. Before the accident I was just getting by week by week before. Now I feel overwhelmed. Because I have no obvious signs of injury or any broken bones, I feel like... It is hard to describe. I'm asking for consideration and extra time for something that people cannot see, which is pain. I have so much back and neck pain.
I’m in class right now and I just want to cry again.
The other “party” in the accident were good sports, they took full responsibility and seemed quite concerned about my health.
I miss my car. I miss it so much. I cannot take public transport so I am 100% depended on Rhys and my family for lifts to uni. It is so painful. I’m very greatful that they’ve taken the time to help me out, but I miss my independence.
I'm getting exhausted so quickly.
I feel so dizzy and overwhelmed after being at uni for about an hour.
I'm back at clinic again tomorrow. My CE has been very kind too, I am so worried about not reaching entry level.
I think I need to talk to her about it. I want to graduate more than I have ever wanted anything.
I have lost so much this week.
I had just turned a corner and was not going very fast as I was just speeding up, so my foot had been on the accelerator when I saw the car. I quickly swapped my foot to the breaks and just left my foot there until impact, which was so dumb. When we crashed I swear I felt the force of the impact in my foot and ankle. I went to my doctor who pointed out bruises and pains I did not know I had. I was in shock and in a state of panic. I cried, non-stop, for hours. For the first time in my life I had high blood pressure.
I’m still feeling on edge and even though I have a lot of support, I feel really alone and behind with my uni work. Before the accident I was just getting by week by week before. Now I feel overwhelmed. Because I have no obvious signs of injury or any broken bones, I feel like... It is hard to describe. I'm asking for consideration and extra time for something that people cannot see, which is pain. I have so much back and neck pain.
I’m in class right now and I just want to cry again.
The other “party” in the accident were good sports, they took full responsibility and seemed quite concerned about my health.
I miss my car. I miss it so much. I cannot take public transport so I am 100% depended on Rhys and my family for lifts to uni. It is so painful. I’m very greatful that they’ve taken the time to help me out, but I miss my independence.
I'm getting exhausted so quickly.
I feel so dizzy and overwhelmed after being at uni for about an hour.
I'm back at clinic again tomorrow. My CE has been very kind too, I am so worried about not reaching entry level.
I think I need to talk to her about it. I want to graduate more than I have ever wanted anything.
I have lost so much this week.
Wednesday, August 6, 2008
Right now, what sucks.
- Rhys is in NZ
- Rhys will be in NZ for another week and a bit
- Bro was suppose to stay here tonight and help me in the morning, but bailed while I was in a lecture
- the uni is changing my clinical placement four weeks into a 13 week semester
- you dont understand I HAVE TO START AGAIN
- new clinic
- new clinical educator
- I will just be getting settled when it will be time for my mid way evaluation
- I AM EXHAUSTED.
- But next week... I'll have some good news.
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