So here it is. My second last lot of final exams. Not extremely afraid of failing, not expecting to do fantastically either. I got a bit sick of speech pathology this semester. Sick of all the fluff. "Evidence Based Practice" my left foot. My CE's attitude and example wasnt great. I went to some lectures and sat there thinking. So what? No der. Get me the hell out of here.
So... do I want to be a speechie?
Absolutely.
Then what is wrong?
I feel like I'm missing something. I feel like everyone else in my class is one step ahead all the time. I feel like I contribute nothing to any projects, even when I do. I feel like my RA is an issue at every clinical placement, most places have been great about it, some have made me feel like nothing short of a waste of space. My passion and drive was slowly drained out of me when every week I had the feeling I was getting told that I lack the core skills that make a good speech pathologist. I dont want to study anymore I just want to cry.
I'm exhausted.
I'm stressed.
I'm sad.
and honestly I dont know what to do with myself.
And Rhys wonders why I want to start planning the wedding. Its become my happy place.
I've decided its probably just this semester and next semester it will be a fresh start with new educators and the finish line will be in sight.
This time next year I will be helping people! and making money! It seems impossibly far away...
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment